Today's Joke:
On a plane bound for Cairns, the flight attendant approached a
blonde seated in the
first class section and
requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first
class ticket.
The blonde replied "I"m blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Cairns,
and I'm not
moving!"
Not wanting to argue with a passenger, the flight attendant asked
the First Officer
to speak with her. He went to
the woman again asking her to move out of the first class section.
Again the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to
Cairns, and I'm
not moving!" The First Officer
returned to the cockpit and asked the Captain what they should do
about this.
The Captain replied, "I'm married to a blonde, I know how to handle
this."
The Captain then went to the first class section and whispered in
the blonde's ear.
She then immediately
jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling, "Why didn't
anyone just say so?"
Surprised, the flight attendant and First Officer asked the Captain
what he had
said to her to get her to move
from her seat. He said, "I told her the first class section wasn't
going to
Cairns."
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia.
The doctor gave him a
thorough examination, found absolutely
nothing physically wrong
with him, and then told him,
"Listen, if you ever expect
to cure your insomnia, you just
have to stop taking your
troubles to bed with you."
"I know" said the man, "but
I can't. My wife refuses to sleep alone."
A young Irish lad moved to London and went to
Harrods looking for a job.
The manager asked "Do you have any sales
experience?"
The young man answered "To be sure I have now, I
was a salesman back home."
The manager liked the young Irish Lad so he gave
him the job.
His first day on the job was challenging and busy,
but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the manager came
down and asked "OK, so how many sales did you
make today?"
The young Irish Lad said "One."
The manager groaned and continued "Just one?
Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How
much was the sale for?"
"£101,237.64." The young Irish Lad replied.
The manager choked and exclaimed "£101,237.64?
What the hell did you sell him?"
"Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a
medium fish hook, and then ,I sold him a new fishing
rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing
and he said down at the coast, so I told him he would
need a boat, so we went down to the boat
department and I sold him that twin-engined Power
Cat.Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic
would pull it, so I took him down to car sales and I
sold him the 4 x 4 Suzuki".
The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell
me....a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you
sold him a boat and 4x4?"
"No no no......he came in here to buy a box of
tampons for his wife and I said.........'Well, since
your weekend's ######, you might as well go
fishing."
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